My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
