dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you inspire me to be a worse person
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
