well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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