And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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