They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Non-Jews are for practice
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I smell stomach acid.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
it's like iHOP with fire
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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