So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
