What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
try to milk me bitch
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