I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize