How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
