don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
