just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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