the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
