Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
