You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just gargled with NyQuil
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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