I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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