Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
