She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
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