even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
