he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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