I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
