i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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