the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
