Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
