your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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