you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I cockslap morals
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
