I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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