i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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