Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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