the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
