I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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