no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
