elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
