In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I had to cum in my sink.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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