def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
