Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
