Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
