is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
