The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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