We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
