Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
