it hurts more in the daytime
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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