So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
