Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
