It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
