The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
