One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
