Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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