I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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