Can i not drive my cunt home
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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