hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I need moral support for this bender
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
